You’d be very hard pressed to find a wife who didn’t feel under-appreciated at some point in her marriage. For many of us, it’s a nagging feeling that we just can’t seem to shake. We love our husbands, we go out of our way to do whatever we can to make his life happy and comfortable, yet he doesn’t seem too interested in reciprocating that behavior. How often have you felt as though he doesn’t even acknowledge the kind things you do for him on a daily basis? If it’s at least a few times a week, you definitely have a problem on your hands. I know that it seems as though the logical approach to deal with this is to simply tell him but as most of us are aware, men don’t always absorb helpful criticism the right way. Your husband may feel as though you’re nagging him or worse yet, he’ll feel internally as though he’s failed you. There are very simple ways to get him to appreciate you more and none of them involve any arguments or confrontations.
This is going to seem incredibly counterproductive at first, but it can literally help to transform your marriage within a matter of days. As difficult as it may be to stop doing all the small chores you typically do, it’s important to try this technique because of how effective it is. If you cease being the one person who is balancing everything around the house, your husband is going to take notice very quickly. Not only will he fully realize how much you actually do but he’ll also appreciate that he hasn’t been showing you the gratitude that you deserve.
When he asks what is going on it’s best to approach this with a deer in the headlights gaze. Simply state that you’ve been busy with other things. Don’t use this situation as a springboard to get into a heavy discussion about the division of chores. It’s best to just tell him you’re busy and let him fend for himself. In short order he’ll start to see you as someone he can’t function without.
Don’t Compare Him to Other Husbands
It may seem harmless to mention that your best friend’s husband can cook a gourmet dinner, press the clothes and dust the house all after he’s done climbing the corporate ladder every day. Your husband won’t take kindly to this news only because he’s likely going to absorb it as a very subtle attack on his character.
As women we may think it’s wise to bring up everything that our friends’ husbands do on a daily basis for them but your husband isn’t going to take any inspiration from that. It won’t make him want to be just like them. In fact, it’s going to hurt him because he’ll essentially feel as though you’d prefer to be married to anyone but him. Never bring up another man when you are struggling to get your husband to appreciate you more.
Be Grateful When He Does Help
One of the most effective approaches I found for dealing with the issue of appreciation in my own marriage was to give my husband a small task and then make a monumental, sincere fuss about it when he did it. One great example is when I asked my husband to take on the task of cleaning the garage. He had gathered so many of his things there that I couldn’t fit my car in anymore. So I sweetly asked if he could take care of clearing out a space for me before winter. I made that request in September. I didn’t nag but when the weather turned a little chilly I made some off handed remarks about how cold my drive to work was in the car. He got to work the next weekend tidying the entire garage. I thanked him profusely. I told him what a great husband he was and how much I valued everything he’d done to make certain that I would have a warm, comfortable car to get into.
Since then I’ve repeated the process with other chores around the house and it has had an impact on him. It’s a process that may take time but for now, it’s proving to be effective.
No one ever said that marriage would be completely fair. If you are feeling that your husband doesn’t appreciate you, it’s important that you take action to remedy it now. He’s not going to suddenly clue in and drop to his knees to thank you for everything you’ve ever done for him. You have to guide him towards that appreciation. If you can do that, you’ll both get more out of the marriage and the level of respect you have for each other will skyrocket.
If your marriage isn’t everything you long for it to be there is a way to change it completely so your husband longs to please you, worships you and works hard to ensure you’re happy and fulfilled every moment of the day.
Watch the insightful video below to learn how to begin the process of transforming your marriage today!